be sexy with your boyfriend
Wanna feel sexy? Read on! This article contains the guide of how you can be sexy around your boyfriend!
Steps
Act confident. You may not feel confident but fake it. If you are unsure of what you’re doing it’s ok, just keep it going!
Wear underwear that make you feel sexy, whether its thong, lacy underwear, push up bras, pink, red, black, bows, pearls, leather, whatever! But no sooner than 6 months.
When you have special time alone do special things. Bring out the tiger in you.
Do things subtle but noticeable things like when your going to pick something up or many things get on your hands and knees and crawl. Bend over, flip hair, show off more cleavage than usual.
Make your boyfriend feel sexy! Compliment him, and what not.
Take pictures of each other, but only if you feel comfortable with the idea.
Walk like a Victoria’s secret model. Wear your hair down and just be wild, but not too wild, otherwise, you’ll act skanky. Big NO!
Make him something sweet then feed it to him.
If you can sing, sing him something nice, but only if you can sing. If you can’t, take lessons.
Wear pearls or a diamond necklace with a tank top.
Tips
Learn strip tease
Belly dance. Always works! Just don’t be stiff.
Warnings
Don’t get drunk and do something crazy. That won’t be sexy, it’ll be skanky. There’s a fine line between sexy and skanky!
Use your head, especially if you don’t feel comfortable with something! Otherwise, he’ll just take advantage of you.
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make a man fall in love with you
Did you ever wonder how all of those average women end up with those gorgeous guys? If you want to find out, read on.
Steps
Be yourself and relax. No one likes a stuck-up snob.
Laugh all the time. You can actually trick yourself into thinking something is funny. Never get mad, slap, or yell at the guy you want to like you. It’s a complete turn-off.
Smile at every chance you get. It shows the guy you’re optimistic and can have a great time.
Always let him try to make you happy. Guys love to make the girl they are falling for happy.
Never become a doormat. If he takes advantage of you, it’s not worth the pain in the end.
Stand up for what you believe in. Never give in during a debate about the greatest band, or anything of the sort. It lets him know that you don’t need him, which makes you more desirable. That said, don’t argue too adamantly about everything.
Catch the fun-bug. Always put on a happy face and laugh at his jokes.
If he doesn’t take to you, there’s nothing wrong with you. We all have to learn how to move on, even masters in the game of love.
Tips
Never get angry at him for stupid stuff, like hitting you with a ball. If he cuts off one of your limbs, then it’s okay to yell.
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get man to marry you
Finding a guy is one thing, but keeping him around is another. Both are important steps. But what are some of the secrets of women who find men willing to commit? This is not an all-encompassing guide, but it may be a start in helping you develop deeper relationships.
Steps
Have a deep-rooted self-esteem. How can a man not feel privileged when he earns the esteem of a woman who values herself so highly?
Be emotionally grounded. Life with you should not be a roller coaster ride. Men generally like women who are stable, and vice versa. Sometimes this is a difficult task in our hectic lives, but it is not impossible. If you find yourself referred to as a “drama queen” in more than one instance, seek help and guidance in relaxing your nerves and calming your emotions.
Show endearment with class. A certain look. A scratch on the back. A soft kiss. Nothing “clingy” or inappropriate.
Appreciate a man’s strengths. And tell him so, even if he’s already prideful. Then support him when he is at his best, and avoid nagging or berating him when he is at his worst.
Be fun. This sounds basic, but it’s a critical factor in any relationship. Have a sense of humor. Don’t be uptight or negative.
Show confidence. Be sure of yourself, and ready to tackle whatever is before you. Many men love confident women.
Overflow with joy. Women who are glad to be alive and are enjoying every minute of it may be irrepressibly attractive to men.
Glow. If the warmth of your heart is written all over your face, and your feelings for your guy show in the sparkle in your eyes, you will melt him. This is what removes all doubt – it’s the important “silver bullet”.
Practice humility. A humble person is not someone who downplays herself; it is a person who controls her ego and shows a genuine interest in others.
Date. It may not be obvious, but you actually have to go out on dates with a man and commit to a relationship before he will propose. The term “date” in modern culture is vague and sometimes redefined as something more than it is. Simply converse with a man and get to know more about each others’ lives.
Don’t assume. Some men wait slightly longer than you might want before they ask. If he is really worth marrying, you should be willing to wait (within reason). But if he is uninterested (or worse, making excuses) even after a long period of time, you need to reevaluate the direction of your relationship. Sometimes allowing a man to lead the direction of a relationship is in-line with your desires. Try it, you’ll like it.
Remember that romance runs both ways. If you want to be respected and treated as an equal, do the same for him. Be romantic. Make him want to be in this relationship. Don’t be a cheapskate. Men often enjoy romance too; pretending otherwise will only drive him away.
Show courage. Be first in asking a man for marriage, or even just a date. Try it, you’ll like it. Remember, simply asking “so when are we gonna get married?” is not a very romantic way to propose.
Convey unconditional love. A strong relationship should be based upon more than convenience. Pushing past difficult times while remaining together requires a deep commitment and appreciation for one another. Unconditional love is developed over time. It is a choice we make, not necessarily a feeling we experience.
Tips
A comfort with, and affinity towards men is non-negotiable. No man will commit to spending the rest of his life with a “man hater”… nor should he.
If you disrespect a man by openly flirting with other men his presence, don’t expect a ring.
If he is not showing a desire to marry after several months, he may never want to marry you. You don’t want a man to “settle” for you; your partner should see you as his first choice or something is wrong.
Know what you are looking for in a man. Learn what personally attracts you to others to help find a better match. Be honest about communicating these preferences, but do so in subtle, caring manner.
Most men want a feminine woman. Interestingly, women who fit this description are more likely to attract masculine men.
Ironically, women who give men an incentive to marry them may end up moving him in the opposite direction.
It’s certainly important to take care of yourself physically. It is well-documented that men appreciate women who are beautiful, cute, and/or sexy. If you disregard this fact, don’t expect your man to view you as the “most beautiful woman in the world”.
Visualize being the woman who a man remembers fondly. Capitalize on your positive unique qualities, talents, or interests.
Warnings
Women who men eventually leave might exhibit the following traits:
Complaining. It’s not good to be negative. After a while this is like listening to a bad disco record over and over. Believe it.
Thinking men are all about sex. So they either berate him with it, or worse, think that giving it out early and often will keep a man. Hint: Sex when it happens, in and of itself, ultimately has NOTHING to do with this topic either way.
Focused on physical appearance. Being cute is not enough to land a well-rounded guy forever. If you get a guy to commit to you based on looks ALONE, stay tuned for a miserable life together.
Taking no risks. They worry about everything and don’t have the guts to go for what they want.
Having general problems. OK, that “Idiot/Jerk” in your past has nothing to do with your new guy. You must enjoy being a woman and be attracted to what makes men male.
Jealousy. Unfortunately, jealous people may also cheat on their partners. Studies say that when people criticize others, listeners tend to consign the traits criticized to the speaker him/herself. Are you a walking, self-fulfilling prophecy?
Don’t be controlling. Some people crave respect. If you are a controlling woman, you are not showing him the respect he may need to feel good about himself.
Hang ups about masculinity being a bad think and femininity being “weak”. If you view women as an “oppressed race” and “hate men”, don’t expect a man who actually respects and LIKES women to want to be with you.
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get right man
What do you want out of your personal life? Do you just want one short-term relationship after another? Are you waiting for the right guy to come along? Well even if he does you probably won’t even know it.
Steps
Why? Because the only way to know you have a guy who loves you for who you are is to find a guy who wants to be with you even though he knows he will only score with you after the wedding, PERIOD. You have to make yourself very clear and resolute on the matter. “Not until we are married!”
If they think they just might have a shot, guys will put in the time, play the game, pretend to be who they think you want them to be in order to score without a wedding band.
You could be wasting your time on a man who will never marry you if you do not make yourself absolutely clear.
If he stays once he knows that for sure, than you know he’s there because he likes YOU. And before that wedding you have to spend enough time together for each of you to get to know the other very well.
You don’t want to be divorced 10 years from now trying to start all over because you got into a marriage where one or both of you weren’t happy.
Don’t pretend to be who you aren’t. If he doesn’t love who you really are than neither one of you will be happy when he discovers your true self.
Have you ever heard guys use the saying “get some strange”? There is a strong draw on many guys, for those they have not had.
Do not underestimate it! Even if you found a guy who has been waiting for that wedding night but you give in early, that could be the end of it. That urge for “strange” has been satisfied and could now be directed at another.
It’s sort of like seeing that item for sale in the window. You want it. You save up for it, and after you buy it, you wear it once and then it sits in the closet.
Oh, and don’t think that letting yourself get pregnant would be the answer. Most guys these days would just take off, never to be seen again. And even if the father would marry you it would probably be a very unhappy and short marriage. Then you would be some guy’s ex-wife with a kid, which sends most guys running.
Please don’t be offended by my brutal words. I am just trying to give you a little insight into the minds of most men. Until they have strong feelings for you, men can be very unfeeling in their actions and opinions.
Tips
Ask him what he wants out of life.
How does he plan on accomplishing those goals?
What is he doing to accomplish those goals?
Do his goals fit in with your goals?
Read the book “Men are from Mars / Women are from Venus” together. The name sounds lame, but it is a very enlightening book.
Use every opportunity you get to learn more about him.
Warnings
If he doesn’t want to talk to you about his future, he probably doesn’t want to spend it with you.
If he doesn’t want to spend time improving your relationship, he probably doesn’t care about it.
If you smoke, quit. If he smokes and won’t quit, drop him like the fool he is.
“Birds of a feather flock together” If his friends are the wrong kind of people, he almost surely is too.
Tattoos attract most men for the wrong reason. They give the thought that you are “damaged goods”, usable, and disposable. Think twice before getting one.
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get a real good man
It is not easy for women to find a good man, and to be honest it is not easy for a man to find a good woman. I write this from a man’s perspective to help frustrated women that are sincerely looking for a good man but keep finding losers.
Steps
Be yourself. When you meet someone for the first time, you may be tempted in trying to be someone you’re not, such as “putting on your best face”. However, it is possible to take this too far and in turn repel men. The same applies with myths about dressing sexy and excessive flirtation. Good men respond negatively when girls go overboard on these items, and may not take you seriously anymore. Be yourself, and a real man will respect you.
Be relaxed and cool. Most guys hate it when girls are possessive, bitchy, clingy, controlling, etc. Learn to relax, and have fun. We all have too much going on in our lives, including men, don’t be the high maintenance “drama queen”. Having a woman around who makes life more difficult than enjoyable will make a man lose interest. If you do things like show genuine concern when the man has had a rough day, it will earn his respect and go toward winning him over and a good man will reciprocate.
Realize differences in communication. It’s no secret, women are 10 times better at reading body language than men. Unfortunately for men 80% of all communication is body language. Since men are not as good at reading body language and rely more on “say what you mean” communication, men can miss the subtle messages that women send in their body language. Don’t judge a guy because of this, it’s just the way men are. Subtle body language like smiles only make us think that you might like us. More “obvious” body language like playful jabs to the arm or attempts to find a man’s ticklish spots not only show us you like us enough to get that physical and playful, but also help to break the physical barrier and allow a man to feel a little more comfortable with making a few advances.
Take a good look at yourself. Psychological studies have shown that people seek out partners to fill a psychological void. Sometimes these voids are unhealthy, for example a woman who is unhealthy will actually seek out any man for the “high of seduction”, or to get attention and feel desirable. Look inside yourself and ask yourself why you want a man so bad, be truly honest with yourself, and if need be talk to a therapist about this. A woman with issues only attracts a guy with issues as well, and a good real man doesn’t want anything to do with a woman who has more issues than TIME magazine. If you want a good, healthy relationship with a real man, make certain that your own mental state and intentions are healthy.
Drop the games. A problem men have with women is the fact that they like to play “head games”. This all goes back to being honest and healthy. Be real, don’t play games, and good men will pursue and respect you. Playing head games will only make good men run away. Remember the communication thing? Well that applies especially true here. If you like a guy, don’t push him away and act like you don’t like him, tell him. It’s not that we don’t like the thrill of the chase, I personally love it, but sending mixed “I like you, I don’t like you” signals confuses and frustrates a good man,and he’ll end up saying “screw it”. Remember, men communicate directly, if you act like you don’t want us, we think you don’t want us.
Treat him like a man. This is the most important thing of all. Men hate being around a woman who emasculates them, and a good man will leave a woman who tries to emasculate them quicker than the plague. Don’t be afraid to help your man feel good about himself. Here’s a little known secret, men are just as insecure as women. If he’s with his friends or family and you happen to be there, be open to opportunities to make your man look like “the man”,it will win his love and respect.
Don’t be afraid to make a move. Let’s be real, a good man doesn’t desperately need any woman, he would like to meet a good woman.
Tips
The best way to meet someone is through other people, or activities you enjoy. Some advice about being genuine: Don’t take up hobbies or habits just to meet someone. If you meet him in a bar, he’s liable to be a drinker. If you meet him in a house of worship, he’s likely to be religious. If his first impression are important, so if his first impression of you is “party girl”, it will be difficult to change.
Warnings
If you want a serious relationship with a good man, you must be willing to not settle for less.
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make the man believe that you are the one
This is a sincere introspective into what seriously makes a man say, “Wow. She’s the one.” It’s not a series of flirtatious moves combined mathematically with a certain ratio of lip gloss to mascara. Despite what most women may believe, we don’t pay much attention to their make-up. The key to getting guy to fall for you, basically, is all about ego… ours, that is.
Steps
Firstly, flirting works. It doesn’t matter if the guy is a club-hopping jigalo or a conservative opposed to pre-marital sex. Simply put, it attracts a man’s attention, focuses it on you, and established you as a romantic prospect. You will know right away whether he has accepted or dismissed your flirting, and usually it will be the former.
Don’t ever ask the guy out. For most guys, this is a severe blow to the male ego and makes him feel inadequate, and hence he will like you less for it. All you have to do is create circumstance. Make sure that you set up the perfect environment for him to ask you out, so that he feels that there is a good chance you will say yes. Remember that too much certainty is a bad thing, as is too much obscurity.
Anytime you are speaking with him, it is about you and him. Even in a public setting, or a group of friends, make sure that your focus of attention is on him, and that you make him feel comfortable talking to you. Basically, don’t make him feel like you’re judging him, and eye contact is key. Otherwise, he will simply not get that you’re interested. We don’t have female intuition. All we’ve got is logic, and unfortunately it works against us sometimes.
On your first date, less make-up, more natural beauty. Whatever style you think looks great on you naturally, use it. We tend to look at natural beauty more as the one we fall in love with than the one that’s made-up for an hour to look that way.
Build his ego. This step is key, and this is the one that makes the guy “suddenly realize” how great you are. Don’t outwardly compliment him, that’s too obvious. Instead, try to make him believe that in your eyes he’s perfect (i.e. the smartest, the strongest, etc.). This isn’t an actual thing you say, it’s more of an attitude that you give off when you’re around him as opposed to other men. This will make him see how special you are for thinking he is special.
DO NOT FLIRT WITH OTHER GUYS. Period. We scare off easy, and for those who don’t, they won’t appreciate you handing out your charm to whatever guy passes the corner. We want to feel like you’ve reserved that part of yourself just for us and that we are the only ones who get to see it. It makes us feel special in regards to you, which in turn, builds our ego, which (again), makes us appreciate you more.
If there are things that he is interested in that you are not, try to partake in them or discuss them with him at least once before mentioning to him that you’re not really interested in them. The reason I mention this is because the very fact that you were willing to partake in something that he liked that you didn’t will make him see you as committed, considerate, and caring. The fact that you are willing to open yourself up to even the parts of him that you don’t necessarily like will allow him to see how special YOU are to him. And at this point, you’re almost there.
At this point, you should be dating, and he should be pretty into the relationship. All you have to do now is make yourself a rare commodity. Don’t pick up the phone on the first ring. Be busy on certain “date-nights”. DON’T be cold, that’ll make him think you’ve either lost interest, are seeing someone else, or are playing games. He won’t like any of those. Simply, make yourself a bit less “acquirable” than usual, only for a while, about a week. (Not more than two.)
When you finally become “available” again, let him know that it was worth the wait. The next time you go out, be as charming as you can be, as pretty as you can be, and make him remember what he’s been missing out on the last week or so. This step makes him realize that he cannot, in fact, live without you.
Finally, he is head-over-heels in love with you. (and let’s hope you are too.) At this point, simply let your relationship progress naturally. Don’t fight too often, remember to talk things through. And as a last point of advice, guys like having things to fix. Whether it’s a broken car or a broken heart, men like fixing things, and let’s face it, you’re not perfect. So don’t be afraid to open up about your problems at work, with your family, etc. because chances are he will want to help you with them, and it will also keep him busy.
Tips
Remember that you’re just as special as he is, if not more. You should expect that he treats you and your relationship with the same level of respect and commitment that you do. Otherwise, he may just not be worth it.
Warnings
Don’t get clingy, and don’t ever make the first move in terms of “the next step”. All you have to do is make him feel comfortable and trust him to make the commitment.
Don’t play games. Period. Most of the time we don’t understand them, or we don’t know how to play them, or both.
Don’t mention how attractive other guys are or how sexy your new tennis instructor is. We WILL take it the wrong way. There are safer ways to get us jealous.
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get the guy to call back
Summary
Some good advice on what to do when a guy won’t call you back.
Steps
First things first. Do NOT call him. However much you have to annoy your friends, or how much ice cream you need to eat, or whatever trail you have to hike, do not call the man. If he wants to call you, he will. If he doesn’t, then there’s nothing really that can be done.
Be patient. Lately there’s a lot of self help advice going around that tells guys not to call a woman for anywhere between 2 days to 2 weeks after first meeting and getting the phone number. I would advise not waiting more than 3 days before starting to consider someone else…unless you want a detached, aloof, robot of a man.
When you feel you’ve waited long enough, be that 2 days or a week, send out a probe. One SMS, call, or message is enough. You’re just checking to see if he’s alive, and that is all. If you must resort to this, call with a reason.
If he does not answer in a timely manner, delete his phone number and all related contact information for him. You don’t have to block him. Just make sure you won’t be contacting him. Remove all temptation.
Enjoy the memory if it was happy. Learn from it, and move on. Maybe he’ll wake up when he hears about how wonderful a woman you are, how beautiful you are, and how well you cook, from your new boyfriend. By then though, it’ll be too late.
Don’t view it as him rejecting you. View it as his simply not being ready for you or not recognizing your value. Who wants a guy who doesn’t value them?
Get support from your friends. You’re not the first woman to be left hanging, and you won’t be the last. Sometimes it helps to talk about these things with someone who has been through it. Remember, some of your guy friends have been through this too. They never got sent the probe.
Additional Reading
He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys — by Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo;
This is a recent book written by a male and coauthored by a female. He was tired of seeing woman hurt and confused by the males way of thinking. He’s very blunt and forthright, doesn’t sugar coat anything. Tells you why the guy won’t call for every scenario there is. In other words, if he’s not calling you, he’s never going to call you because he’s just not that into you. Don’t you deserve better? Don’t you deserve someone who can’t wait to call you? Don’t sit around waiting for someone who won’t call, get the book and then find a better male. Good luck.
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be the rules girl and get the guy you want
llow these important Rules to get the man of your dreams and keep him faithful and interested in you forever!
Steps
Realize that you are a creature unlike any other. If you feel this way about yourself, men will see you that way. Take time to make yourself look the best you possibly can on the outside to make yourself feel confident on the inside. Confident girls are attractive to men.
Understand that a relationship was NEVER MEANT TO BE if you pursued him. (Made the first move, asked him out, called him first). No matter what, THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS to this rule. All men, whether they know it or not, are programmed to pursue and will appreciate it in the end if you do not make the first move.
Be honest, but mysterious. Answer his questions truthfully but do not start talking about your family problems on the first few dates. Men do not need to know everything about you, especially not right away. You do not want to be an open book now do you?
Wait a while to sleep with him. Nothing more than kissing on the first three dates. This will earn his respect.
Do not rely on a man. He is not your counselor, best friend, or shopping buddy. He is your boyfriend and you need to maintain your other relationships and interests. A guy should always add to your life, not take away from it.
Do not talk on the phone with him for longer than ten minutes. Set a timer if you have to. This way you will remain mysterious when you tell him that it was nice talking to him but you are just so busy! (Do not tell him what you’re busy doing). Don’t call a man either. He should call you five times for every one time you call him. If he’s interested in you, he will keep calling. Let him pursue you.
Tips
Do not call men. Call a friend instead.
Ever noticed how there are so many guys you could have that you just aren’t interested in but the one you do like shows no interest back? This is because you unknowingly do the Rules on the men you don’t like. You don’t call them excessively, you don’t act interested.
Don’t get hung up on one guy. As hard as it is to accept this, if he doesn’t ask you out, he’s not interested and it was never meant to be. Move on and maybe he will ask you out then or maybe he won’t. There is someone else out there for you.
Don’t see him everyday. Period. A couple times a week is enough at first.
Warnings
Remember that stalking a guy and telling him you are in love with him and acting clingy when he doesn’t like you will drive your chances of being with him to 0%. DON’T DO IT. You will just embarrass yourself and get hurt. By following the rules you do not get hurt because you do not pursue and you know that if a guy doesn’t call you it isn’t because you called too much or saw him too much. It will be because it wasn’t meant to be.
Things You’ll Need
Confidence
Discipline
Desire for a healthy relationship
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avoid to turn guy off
We all have crushes, but how do we know what a guy on and what turns him completely off?
Steps
Don’t stare. It’s creepy and annoying. If you do it too much, you might be presumed to be a stalker. Look at him and then when he looks back, look away. Don’t just sit and look straight at him or he will think you are crazy.
Calm down. Don’t let your anxiety get to you, since it can make you act jittery and weird. Guys don’t like girls that are always shouting, yelling, and screaming.
Be judicious with your laughter. It’s good to laugh when it’s appropriate, but only do so if it’s actually funny. Otherwise, it’s annoying and he might doubt your sincerity.
Make sure you look clean, neat, and groomed at all times. Your hair should be smooth, your skin should be clear and not exceedingly greasy, and please brush your teeth. Nothing is more disgusting than bad breath and BO.
Shave leg and armpit hair. Instant turn-off.
Show an open or opening gesture or expression.
Be very mature, for example: don’t act like a 6th grader who tells on everybody who says “shut-up”. Guys like women who are mature and intelligent as well.
Tips
You do have a brain for a reason. Use it.
Use common sense.
Be nice. Guys don’t like girls who are just plain mean.
Don’t be a slut unless you only want sex.
Most guys aren’t into girls that play “hard to get”. It gets really annoying. If you like him, show it. He’ll appreciate it.
Men don’t pick up on “subtle hints” like girls do, so don’t be afraid to be a little forward because otherwise they won’t even know you like them in the first place. Let them know you’re interested, but not desperate.
Each guy is different, so there may be turn-offs and turn-on’s that are unique to your crush. DON’T show off.
Warnings
Even with all these things, a guy may still not be interested in you. That’s life.
Don’t mistake sexual attraction for true love.
Things You’ll Need
A brain
A crush/boyfriend/date/etc…
A really cute, beautiful, hot, sexy body and face.
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avoid making guy feel awkward
If you like a guy who’s a bit awkward towards you, here’s how to act to make the situation go as smoothly as possible. If you don’t like this, find a cooler guy who is cool with himself and not feeling awkward towards you.
Steps
Be more assertive. You may have to be the leader in this situation, because most guys don’t want to get themselves together just for you. So don’t act uncomfortable or awkward–you’d better be pretty easygoing and comfortable if you’re going to make this work.
Have a normal conversation with him about topics that don’t involve personal questions and girlfriend issues.
Avoid clinging. If he doesnt like you, for your sake and his, drop it. It will make you seem desperate, and will only make the guy feel more awkward. So if you ask him why he doesn’t talk to you and he brings up a lame excuse then that’s a clue that he doesn’t really like you.
Move on if it doesn’t work out. There are upwards of 3 billion guys out there, so the odds are in your favor.
Avoid discussing topics such as menstruation.
Tips
Be comfortable.
Take the hints.
Have fun with it.
Go easy on him if he isn’t overly self confident.
Warnings
Don’t be a stalker. A guy may act awkwardly around you because he doesn’t like you, not because he doesn’t know what to do.
If you know he has no interest in you, then don’t tell your friend to ask him why he still won’t talk to you! You will still get a negative answer and it will make him feel even more awkward the next time he’ll see you.
Telling him that he is ugly will definitely make him feel awkward. Use euphemisms intead of directly making negative comments.
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make friends with a guy you just met
Ever seen a guy in a bookstore,school, movie theater,or even on the street, that you wonder what he’s like and what it would be like to get to know him? Do you like the style that person has? Do you 100 percent feel that this person is going to fit in with you? Why not go with it?
Steps
Segue into a conversation. Don’t just go up to the guy and ask what his name is; mention something about him that you find interesting, and get into a conversation that way. Some examples are: “I’ve read that, it’s really good.” “Sorry, that vending machine’s broken. Don’t you hate it when that happens?” “Wow, it’s like these cashiers are moving underwater.” “Nice shirt. I love their music.” “Do you know what time it is?”
Smile and laugh. Nothing puts people more at ease than if they think someone else is having fun. It will open him up more and make him more interesed in talking to you.
Ask at least 5 questions about himself; you shouldn’t hog the whole conversation. Just make sure they’re in context and not out of the blue.
If things seem to be going well, ask him for his email adress or screename.Those are more casual than talking on the phone, and don’t have all the cultural strings attatched to “talking on the phone with a guy”. It will make you seem less forward.
Don’t send him an email/im him right when you get home; wait a day or two. When you do first email/im him, restate who you are,like “remember me from…?”
You have three choices now:
>If you want to be freinds with him, that’s really as far as you have to go. A string of emails or the occasional IM means you did it! You’ve succeded in becoming freinds with a guy you just met.
>If you want to be closer freinds with him, invite him out to the movies with a couple of your close friends (be sure to invite guys too to make him more comfortable). If your friends get to know him,you’ll probably be seeing him more often.
> If you find out you like him as more than a freind, also invite him to the movies with your freinds. If you both like it,make it a regular thing. Start flirting with him a little; he’ll get the idea. If he seems to want to go farther with you, invite him to the movies, just the two of you, and see what happens.
Tips
Talk, smile, say anything, to fail is better than to do nothing.
Don’t be afraid. You only have one life,and if he doesn’t like you, you’ll probably never see him again.
Warnings
Not everybody will want to be your friend. Such is life.
If you see that he’s not really into the conversation, it’s probably because he’s not interested in you. Take the hint; just say something like “Ok, so I’ll see you around then,” and go away. There’s no point in staying there if he doesn’t really want to be there.
If you get uncomfortable with the conversation or feel that something’s wrong, trust your gut instinct and get out of there immediately. Say you’re late for something or pretend to get a phone call. Striking up conversations with people you’ve never seen before can be really fun and interesting, but it can also sometimes be dangerous.
Things You’ll Need
A guy you think would be cool to get to know
Common sense
The time to chat
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get the guy you want fast
Luckily, the human male is basic and easy to use, though not easy to understand! In order to get the guy, you truly have to “get” the guy, get it?
Steps
Find out where guys are coming from in general. You’ve probably heard that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, so don’t assume that guys think the way do, nor that they interpret situations the way you do. Learn what to expect from them.
Get to know him. Sometimes we become enamored with a fantasy that the guy can fit into, more than the real person himself. Make sure your intentions are genuine and show him how you feel.
Understand that appearance is most certainly not everything. There are, of course, some guys who feel that appearance outweighs personality in a relationship, but that is not true for all guys. (See the Tips below.) Keep your appearance the way it normally is unless you are already dating and dressing up for an occasion, because if you are not desired for who you truly are, then why be involved in a relationship in which you portray yourself as something you are not?
Make conversation. Take an interest in who he is–what he likes, where he’s coming from, where he wants to go–and show him who you are, too. Look for common ground but also use this as an opportunity to open your mind and respect his individuality. Whether he’s into death metal or Nascar, take an interest in his interests.
Learn to read him. Every guy has his own way of showing that he likes someone, and you can find out what his is by being observant and patient.
Find out what he’s looking for in a girlfriend (or what he’s bent on avoiding) and see if that matches up with who you are and who you’re striving to be. But, don’t bend your personality to fit his ideals–remember to be yourself.
Tips
Clothing is a very controversial issue to guys, because they’re divided. There seems to be one group of guys who feel that the girl should wear whatever she feels comfortable in, because that confidence (in herself) alone is sexy. However, there exists another group of guys who feel that the girl should wear clothing that shows off her body. Whichever way you go, don’t go overboard–don’t get so comfortable that you’re in rags, and don’t get to dressed up that you look like a cheap thrill.
Be nice to his friends. If the two of you end up dating, you don’t want there to be a persistent conflict between you and his friends. Think about it from your own perspective: Your friends not liking someone for you might not necessarily stop you from dating him, but it’ll sure put a strain on both relationships. It’s much nicer if your romantic interest makes a sincere effort to befriend your friends.
All guys are different, as are all girls. If something doesn’t work with one guy, just remember that there are millions of them out there that you could speak to, and that they are not all the same, so generalizations about how to get a guy cannot be slapped on any of them.
Warnings
Just because you like him doesn’t mean he’s a great guy. Get to know him and see if he’s right for you.
Before you start flirting up a storm, make sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend already. It will make him and his girlfriend very uncomfortable.
Things You’ll Need
Self-esteem.
Courage. You’ve got to be yourself.
A working knowledge of what you actually want out of life/love/relationships.
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understand a man
Many women have never really understood men, and this can affect their relationships with them. Here are some things you’ll need to know.
Steps
Be ready for sloppy finances. Most men forget to pay bills, have money stashed away and don’t mind spending a lot of money on gadgets. They will make a great impression on a woman about their finances early in the relationship, only for her to find out later that the money isn’t what it seems.
Prepare yourself for a double standard when it comes to looks. Men don’t care too much about their pot bellies; yet they will criticize a woman for being overweight. These same men lose their hair and aren’t mindful of their breath after they have gotten to know you.
Keep it real. Guys aren’t big on using tons of personal products. Deodorant? Yes! Hair Stuff? Maybe. They mostly believe natural is the best, and they love it when girls act the same. Sure, you look great when you take time to put on a little lip gloss or a touch of mascara, but you’ve got know when to stop. A woman whose face is covered in sparkles and hair so stiff a tornado couldn’t budge it just isn’t pretty to most men.
Let him enjoy his hobbies, like sports. If you want to rub him the wrong way real fast, talk to him while a game is on or tie up his day shopping when the game is about to start and you may find yourself without a man.
Try talking about your family issues, money woes and boss on the job. If your man truly cares about you, he will offer his opinion on what you should do. It’s not that you want his advice, it’s just that he is programmed to problem solve and he will do just that if you don’t warn him before you tell the story that you don’t need his advice.
Get physical. Most men have this desire to be playfully physical with you, each other or by themselves. For example, shadow boxing, wrestling, shoving, weight lifting, running or simply clicking the remote. Some men still haven’t grown up and will enjoy making you a part of their playfulness for instance, pulling hair, slapping a butt, streaking, etc.
Accept his other female friends and acquaintances. Many men do a lot of talking with at least one female whether in the family or someone on the job. This is the person who knows just about everything about you. When he bought jewelry, clothes or some other gift for you, the woman on the job or the female relative more than likely was the one he consulted with before he made the purchase. If it wasn’t either of those women, it was definitely the sales clerk. There are a few men out there who just won’t talk to any woman other than his wife or girlfriend about any personal issues, but those men are hard to find.
Watch how you dress. Sexy attire to men spells sex. If you are wearing a mini-skirt and your breasts are protruding out, it is hard for a man to think about anything else. Don’t give him the wrong impression, if you aren’t interested in sex.
Let him do the talking. Ever notice how guys don’t talk a lot, especially when it comes to talking about themselves? They don’t feel like it’s totally necessary for everyone to know everything, like what they ate for lunch or what they dreamed about the night before. And it’s likely that they don’t want to know every tiny thing about you. Instead of talking about yourself all the time, try waiting until he asks a question.
Keep in mind that clothes aren’t the most important thing in the world. Ever seen a guy burst into tears because his best friend is wearing the same shirt? Or, because he couldn’t get a sweatshirt in the right shade of blue? Never! They just don’t usually function that way. Don’t be surprised if that have a hard time empathizing when you freak out because another woman has the same dress as you do at your cousin’s wedding!
Ask, don’t assume. If a man wants to know how you’re feeling, he’ll usually ask. Females think they have a “sixth sense” about guys, so they read into everything: If he’s quiet, it means he doesn’t like you. If he looks at another girl, you’re about to get dumped. If he doesn’t email you back right away, its over, Right? No Way! Calm down, take a deep breath and if you still just have to know what’s going on in his head, ask the dude.
Don’t bother gossiping with him. Despite what you might think, guys don’t really gossip, especially about girls. They might tell a close friend they’re crushing on a chick, but guys don’t usually get all chatty and spread rumors. Guys know how to keep info on the down low and you should too. If you think gossiping about people makes you look popular and cool, most guys will just think you are shallow and petty.
Leave cloning in the lab. Some fellas are super-tight with their pals, but you’ll notice they always give each other enough space to be themselves. It’s great to have a best friend, but its also OK to do something on your own–like joining a club different form your pals. It’s good to have experience different form your friends. It makes you way more interesting. In other words, guys aren’t keen on why a woman would attach herself at the hip to a friend as if they’re Siamese twins.
Eat when you’re hungry. When a guy’s hungry, he says, “I’m hungry,” then he eats–the end. Men typically think it’s silly when girls talk about food/diets/calories all the time. It gets really old really fast. They also appreciate a gal who eats normally–that means no starving yourself, and no obsessing endlessly over the size of your thighs. So eat lunch and stop talking about it already. The worst that can happen is that you’ll quit focusing on negative energy on your body image, and soon you’ll be feeling more positive and confident–and guys won’t think you’re a wannabe stick figure.
Tips
Be yourself
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how not to be an obssessive girlfriend
One of the most amazing traits in women is our ability to submerge ourselves into the man of our desire. Women become attached emotionally, some very quickly, and assume that the man shares these same feelings and desires. However, this can be a sure fire way to push the “man of your dreams” out of your life.
Steps
Give him space. If he wants to hang out with friends, encourage it. Let him know that you want him to have a good time and to spend as much time with them as he’d like. (Then follow step 4.) If you have to, fake it. There are times when you would really rather spend that time with your man than have him out with his friends, however forcing him to spend time with you results in his pulling further away. If you’re able to encourage and support his time away it will reinforce his belief that you want what is best for him, and in the long run it will strengthen your relationship.
Take time for yourself. Visit friends, family, take a class, anything you find interesting or would like to learn. Do this even if you have to tear yourself away from your man. He should be supportive of you, and encourage your interests, too. Focusing only on the one you love isn’t living; it’s also about personal growth and experiencing new things. Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish. If you aren’t the best person you can be, then you can’t expect to be the person you need to be for your significant other.
Keep your hobbies and friends. All of us tend to become obsessive at the beginning of a relationship. The key to a healthy relationship is balance. Couples need time apart to reestablish their individual identities. Remind yourself of who you are by reconnecting with friends/relatives, or picking up those old hobbies you’ve been setting aside. Suggest that he do the same. This is a simple way to show him that you are confident and interesting (even if you don’t feel very confident or interesting). Suggest to him that he go out with his friends while you visit with yours. Or even suggest he work on his hobby or interest while you take time for yours.
Set up days or times to reconnect after spending time apart. This is simple and very effective. After asking for time apart, set up a time and day to reconnect. For instance, if one of you wants to hang out with friends for the day, suggest that you could meet him later for dinner. Or suggest a time the following day, and an activity, in which the both of you could get together. This gives both people in the relationship permission to enjoy their time apart, while also giving each of you a grounding point, or rather a reassurance in knowing you will see the other person and they wish to see you.
Reaffirm who you are and why you are special. Do those things that you do best. If you’re not sure, try everything. If you’re feeling less then confident, or insecure in your relationship, sometimes it helps to go back to something that created a sense of accomplishment. Don’t look for confidence from your partner, find it within yourself. To do this, seek out those things which you can succeed at.
Suggest he take time for his hobbies and interests. The key is to allow him to choose by assuring him you want to spend time with him, but letting him know you understand the importance of his hobbies and interests, too. Let him know that you can and will find activities to occupy yourself while he enjoys his time. This frees him from feeling guilty for taking that time for himself. You create a bonding situation by suggesting that the both of you go to stores that are of interest to him. For example, if he enjoys video games, suggest a trip to the video game store. Help him look for games he wants, or maybe is interested in. Then give him space to use those games.
Know when to back off. Learn his body language. Ask questions. Listen to what he is saying. Men don’t always come out and say how they feel, and may not tell you even if you ask. Listen to what your gut instinct is telling you. If you feel he is pulling away, don’t force yourself on him more. A woman’s tendency is to be clingier at this point. The problem is it drives men away. A possible solution involves letting him know you are available when he wants, while finding other things to do with your time, or discuss the situation with him.
Tips
Hang up the phone. If you’re calling him 24 hours a day, stop. In worst case scenarios, turn your phone off. It’s okay to call and see how his day is, but if you’re calling every couple of hours, this could reinforce his belief that you have nothing else going on in your life. People are attracted to interesting people. If your only interest is him, then he’s going to lose interest in you. Some ideas to refrain from grabbing the phone are: Call a friend, take a nap, go for a walk and pick flowers for him, learn something new that you can discuss with him later, learn more about his hobbies/interests through research.
Start a journal. Write your feelings, not what you did during the day. Try to discover why you feel a certain way. Insecurity often leads people to act in ways that men would describe as crazy. If you’re worried about losing him, dig deep into why you feel that way. Not how is he acting, but why YOU are concerned about losing him. Fear of being alone? Fear of rejection? A journal is a place where you can explore your thoughts and feelings without having to set them in stone. It should be an area where you can express every possible emotion without fearing recrimination. Once on paper, re-examine it, does it still sound true to you? What can you do so that you won’t fear rejection or loneliness, and can become more confident in who you are?
Stop following him when you aren’t together. Don’t follow him when he says he’s going to a friend’s house so that you can check up on him. This is an instant message to him that you don’t trust him. Men aren’t stupid; they see your car parked down the street.
Create situations that have an ending point. For instance, you want to hang out with him during the afternoon, ask him if he’s interested and then suggest that after the outing he can drop you off at your house. This gives him the freedom to decide if he would like to spend the rest of the evening with you, instead of feeling as if he’s trapped into spending it with you.
Communication. Ask questions and then listen. Clarify anything you may not understand by asking questions.
Quality time, not quantity time. Use the time you do have together wisely. Ask yourself if you’d rather have 8 hours of mediocre time with him, or 2 hours of fantastic time together.
Trust. Obsessive behavior usually stems from a feeling of mistrust. Unfortunately trust can only be built over time, but you must have a basis to build from. If you don’t feel you can trust him while he is away, discuss this with him. Also, ask yourself why you feel this way? What is he doing to cause this mistrust in you? Is it his actions, or are you drawing from past experiences? What can you do to help you face this fear?
Approach all arguments or discussions with an open mind. Be willing to listen and understand his side.
Remember that each relationship is different, and no two people are alike.
In general, without realizing it, we tend to be attracted to people who show the better qualities that are within human beings. Love, beauty, courage, kindness, confidence, trust, honesty and friendliness are some of these qualities and there are many more. When we live out our best qualities, we tend to be attracted to and we attract others who do the same. We tend to want to avoid people who live out some of the worse qualities. When was the last time you were attracted to bitterness, meanness and cruelty in a person?
Warnings
Seek help if you are in an abusive situation, or if you find that your infatuation with this person is consuming your life.
Letting him have his space to do things like drink with his friends does not mean that he shouldn’t call if he’s going to be late. It doesn’t give him permission to pursue other women. And it certainly doesn’t give him the right to wake you up in hopes of a late night drunken encounter when he finally gets home.
If staying out late with his friends is about more than just getting in some guy time—remember: you can’t force love. If what you have isn’t meant to be, no amount of angry outbursts over his guy-time will make your relationship work.
Don’t be his go-to girl, just because he cannot find anything else to do. Be smart. Be real.
All of these suggestions should not be tried from the point of view that these will fix a relationship that isn’t working by “making” someone have more feelings. Relationships are built on feelings for the other person, and love comes only from loving. If you find yourself following these suggestion in order to elicit a specific response, then it could be because you’re wanting to make the other person feel and in turn, show you feelings they might not have. If you’re wondering what you can do to make someone have more feelings for you, the answer is nothing. At that point, I’d start asking, ‘What is it really that attracts you to this person? – the person, themselves, or one or two qualities they have.
Never just assume that your boyfriend is cheating on you and start checking up on him. That is VERY annoying, a TOTAL turnoff, and you will be very embarrassed if he isn’t after all.
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CONVERSATION SKILLS
start conversation with a stranger
So you decided to meet new people, yet you don’t know what to start talking about. Here are a few ways to find common topics to get acquainted.
Steps
Greet the stranger, and smile in a friendly way.
Ask in a general, friendly tone, “How are you?”, “How have things been?” “Nice weather we’re having!”
Go into general topics in common, such as
current news, issues (avoiding hot button political debates)
weather
interests
friendly topics such as food, music, movies, books, sports, Broadway, fashion, etc. The topics that are on the MySpace forums are excellent topics for conversation starters. Just omit topics such as Business and Entrepreneurs, Film making (this is myspace only), hardcore politics, religion, and some of the creepy general discussion topics.
Observe any visual clues to draw a topic out. For example, a certain wristband, watch, gadget. Notice if someone looks interested or bored.
Ask them what kind of genre (for example: pop, reggae, country, and etc.) of music that the person likes. Once they tell you, try to think of a song from that genre that you know, and could use to get the conversation started. Sometimes simple things like these are really good conversation starters especially if the person happens to like the same kind of music that you do. You can discuss different bands, or singers. Discuss maybe what concerts you have been to, or would like to go see. Ask them what kind of concert they would go to if they had the chance to.
Ask them what their favorite food is. For example you might want to ask them if they like Mexican food, or maybe American food perhaps. Once they reply to you, you respond with your kind of favorite food, and then you proceed to ask them which restaurant they like the most. This good conversation starter is especially good with new dates that you go out with. This way you know where to take them when you take them out the next time you see them. Plus maybe you, and the other person might even like the same restaurant so that makes it even better.
Tips
Repeat their name after they say it once, to confirm the pronunciation and to for storing it in your brain.
Be able to agree to disagree on topics, if it gets very heated and no real solution.
Warnings
General topics to avoid: Religion, Politics, Sex, Philosophy, World Problems, Death and Divorce, and the other hardcore topics.
If you choose to introduce yourself, use only your first name. While you may have the best intentions, the stranger you’ve just met may not.
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how to have a great conversation
Do you want to relax and be comfortable in a conversation? Do you end up feeling completely awkward instead? The art of conversation takes practice, but is not as hard as you might think. It will take some knowledge, practice, and patience, but you can learn to relax and enjoy a great conversation.
Steps
Forget yourself. Dale Carnegie once said, “It’s much easier to become interested in others than it is to convince them to be interested in you.” If you are too busy thinking about yourself, what you look like, or what the other person might be thinking, you will never be able to relax. Introduce yourself, shake hands, then forget yourself and focus on them instead.
Find out what the other person is interested in. You can even do some research in advance when you know you will have an opportunity to talk with a specific person. Complimenting them is a great place to start. Everyone likes sincere compliments, and that can be a great ice-breaker.
Ask questions. What do they like to do? What sort of things have they done in their life? What is happening to them now? What did they do today or last weekend? Identify things about them that you might be interested in hearing about, and politely ask questions. Remember, there was a reason that you wanted to talk to them, so obviously there was something about them that you found interesting.
